* More options – my parents are in their sixties. They met in their early twenties. It was not the done thing to date for years and years, seen as socially unacceptable infact.

Now people in their twenties won’t even entertain the notion of settling down.

The result, they reach their 30’s and start panicking!

Young adults live an extended childhood. Many people in their twenties have a relationship akin to dating in your late teens…i.e. simply hanging out and having sex.

London is fast paced, much of the entertainment for people in their twenties centres on alcohol, raving etc, in large groups with people you may not know well.

In other countries / communities, they are more social in terms of relating/talking, which breeds better quality interaction and more chance of finding a lasting relationship.

Expectations – both men and women seem to be searching for the ‘perfect’ man/woman. Back in the day, you simply found someone attractive, who shared similar goals and decided to make a future together. Waiting for the mythical ideal, wastes time and may never materialise.

I think the cure is simply this:
BE THE BEST version of yourself at all times, be it sorting out your career/finances, your health/appearance.

STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. Stop hanging out at places you know you won’t enjoy. Try something new…even if it means *gasp* going on your own!

NETWORK. We do it for work, why not relationships. Open your mouth and tell people you’re looking! Choose half a dozen close friends /family. Open your mouth and tell people you’re seriously looking. The next time your cousin/best mate/colleague is chatting to a single friend who’s bemoaning the fact there are no decent men/women, s/he may say ‘well, acutally I know someone you may like to talk to’.

COUNSELLING – if you have deeper issues to resolve, e.g. childhood trauma, bereavement, abuse or simply a nasty break up – get some professional help. Sometimes talking things through can move you forward, change your outlook and help you identify what it is you’re looking for.

STOP TIME WASTING – maximise your options, be it online, new hobbies etc, just crack on. Don’t assume Mr/Ms Right will ring your doorbell one day out of the blue!

CHANGE YOUR ‘TYPE’ – You don’t need to be Einstein to work out it;s time for someone new if your constantly date people with the same negative behaviour. Go for the opposite. Don’t focus on the superficial.

KEEP YOUR STANDARDS – This is key. By standards I simply mean principles. She’s possessive, he plays games? Walk! Too many people allow themselves to be mistreated, nothing changes, relationship ends and one or both parties feels bitter for a while, holding back the next potential relationship.

Yes, it’s important to compromise, but NEVER comprise your self respect, feelings, values or safety. if you do it will drain/damage you and make it harder to trust or even notice the right person for you.

SMILE! Sounds daft, but we do avoid eye contact in London. Be open, make conversation sometimes…

TRUST – if you don’t try you’ll never know. Give it a go

No patience, don’t care, lack of understanding, no continued commitment, they are a bachelor or spinster, it was you who wanted to settle down. I could go on.

Don’t get married unless you can tolerate each other long-term and you really understand the meaning to love. Til death us do part is not an understanding, it disappears because no one is prepared to withstand longer-term.

The “modern” women is the man and the “modern” man has become the woman…

Since I am part of a dying breed, I feel like I was born in the wrong time because I have not yet met a woman that really goes for a guy because he’s a gentleman… Rather, by what he wears and how he looks and what he drives…

Next time you use you cellphone, iphone, ipad or whatever new must-have gadget you stood queueing in the cold outside for, remember that several of the components of those things came from the Congo… If the people ever controlled their own resources, Apple and the Chinese companies that make those things will not be so rich and will make your gadgets even more expensive…

So remember the Congo also for the wood timber it provides at the expense and destruction of the Congo forest woodland…