WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO GET MARRIED???

by kojo Published: April 28th, 2009 6 comments so far

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By Kojo

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO GET MARRIED???

When is the right time to get married? I keep asking myself this question. Personally, I have always wanted to get married, settle down and start my own family one day. When I was younger, I thought I’d be married around the age I am now, but now I’m here the idea of getting married seems much more appealing later in life – I’m talking more along the lines of 50 years old!

I recently went to a wedding and heard the bride and groom deliver vows to one another and I sat there saying to myself, ‘at what age would I say those words and actually mean them? 50 Years old mate!!’

Now I’m not saying I can’t be in a loving relationship or start a family before I get to 50, but I think it’s important not to tell your wife what she wants to hear, but rather what you promise to uphold.

Women are more emotional than men and see the need to have a boyfriend from the age of 13. Men on the other hand tend to think more about sex rather then the thought of having a girlfriend – I don’t believe this changes when we get older.

I plan to be an amazing father and boyfriend one day. But right now, the thought of having no room to leave if the relationship is not working or having to give half my money away because I signed a document is not something I agree with.

I actually believe in the phrase, ‘Till death do us part.’ And it seems like the most appropriate time to utter these words is at the age of 50 when I’m on my way out. I can’t say those words at my current age and believe it!

Far too many people are getting divorced for silly reasons these days, which makes me think that the thought of being married merely looked good rather than felt good.

The Internet hasn’t made being faithful any easier for men and women either. We really have to take a good look at ourselves, be honest and say when we are ready to give our solo lives over to our partners. This doesn’t mean we can’t do things on our own, but being married means to share decisions as it will affect more than one person.

Let me know your thoughts and thanks for your time!

Kojo

www.kojotv.com coming soon…..

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 6:32 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO GET MARRIED???”

  1. Adrian Says:

    April 28th, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    I too am a firm believer of “Til death do us Part” and wish that modern day couples believed in that too. I went to a wedding the other day and my girlfriend told me that the bride had said to her on her hen do just two weeks earlier “if it doesn’t work I can always divorce him”. The question I then had to ask is…why marry?

    It seems all too often people split up because of “irreconcilable differences”. I would like to get married but when I do it has to be for the right reasons, I don’t want a get out clause. A lot of people perceive marriage to be a bed of roses/ are not properly prepared for it/ jump in very quickly without thinking. Like the author infers it is “the idea of marriage” that is attractive. In a sense like teens who are besotted with having a baby but don’t think about the sacrifices financial and otherwise. So when is the right time? There isn’t a hard and fast answer. All I know is I’m not jumping emotion first into it.

    Peace n respect Kojo. Good Blog

  2. Brown Says:

    April 29th, 2009 at 12:57 am

    Too many girls want the wedding but not the marriage. Its a hype. I’m 21 and clearly the odd one out of my girlfriends, they all want to take the “britney spears” approach to marriage and kids. Doing it YOUNG. Urgh. Each to their own… I guess.

    I’ve never dreamt of having a wedding, but if I did get married, I would like it to be a fullstop or an underline to my life. The way I see it, I could live till I’m 90years old, so why should I do all the best bits within my 1st 25years? I don’t get it? what the rush?.

    But on the contrary, I want to be able to call the father of my sons, something significant, like my FIANCE. Not my BABY FARDA! *shudders* – if I’m good enough to breed, then I better be good enough to marry god dammit!…

    To conclude, my ideal situation would be to be engaged for years upon years and save marriage till the final hurdle, might sound silly, mite not make sense, but hey. That’s what I want.

    Ps.
    Luvvin u on twitter, daily jokes!

  3. Hans from Mauritius Says:

    June 17th, 2009 at 6:31 am

    I agree with you, marriage isn’t a joke. Usually when I see couples getting married, its often something that they doesn’t feel really. They do a wedding just to show others that they are in a complete joy. But when you look at it really and consider what the word marriage means really, they regret their act, but its too late to step back. For me I will definitely not engage myself in a marriage, I will commit myself to someone and see how things goes year after years, and if she is the one, then we’ll consider the issue maybe. but it will be something that we want really and in the simplest form.

    However, what I have noticed is that it is more a family pressure that exerts on couples. Its often the girl’s parents who put things forward, as a wedding is a security, when you signed the document, you can’t abuse of their daughter and then escape just like that.

  4. Shane Morrison Says:

    July 9th, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    I don’t think there is such a thing as the right time. The problem is in the question.

    The right time suggests there is a time in your life where it will be possible for you to share all that you have with another person and then share it all again with your children. It suggests there will be a time when Mr. or Mrs Perfect will have come along and that you will have been in love sufficiently long enough for marriage to become evident.
    It suggests there will be a time when you will allow yourself to be dependent on another emotionally, financially, materially, and physically. It even suggests a blissful state where all foibles are forgiven by someone that loves you unconditionally. Where the sex is so good it should endure a life time. And when the financial benefits and the life long companionship are so apparent, you would be foolish to do otherwise!!!!

    Ah yes – marriage is over hyped, sets expectations high and delivers terrific lows. It has highs also but the expectations are culturally formed and they are a bit of a fairy tale.

    However, if one looks beyond the romance, the fairy tale and the cultural illusions, marriage does work provided there is a commitment formed by the bonds of love, the grips of reality, and the belief you can make it all the way with the person that will partner you for life.

    In other words, the right time to get married is when the person you are with proves they are the right type for you.. in an enduring way. As indeed endure you must through all the ups, downs, highs, lows, kids, births, deaths, failures and triumphs.

  5. Michael Says:

    July 15th, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    I don’t think there is such a thing as the right age to get married only the right emotional state. I know many people who have been married for 30, 40 and even 50 years. Now they may have come from a different generation where marriage was for life and you stuck together through thick and thin, but their lives are something to aspire to, I believe.

    I have been with my wife 11 years, married for only 5, but we have had the benefit of moving within circles where everyone (bar one or two playboys) is married and we are able to offer useful kinds of support to each other when things are going rough. (This also provides the old fashioned shame required for avoiding the title of being “the first to be divorced”).

    Where a lot of the failed marriages that we have witnessed amongst other groups of friends has been the problem of ignorant advice from friends of the “leave him” or “what she don’t know won’t hurt” type. Apparently the only person who should be involved in your marriage is God, but not being the religious type (despite getting married in church) I believe your friends are very important in making or breaking a marriage by offering respect for your decisions and in your choice of partner.

    Remember, the grass is only greener on the other side because they get more rain!

  6. Ann Brown Says:

    July 27th, 2009 at 8:54 am

    What people forget is Marriage is work and sometime in your marriage you are going to hit a hard place. If you not into hard work and in it for the long haul then dont bother. Also if feel people should disscuss what they both want out of life before they get marriage this will make sure your both walking on the same path. Also if you surround yourselve with like minded people it helps to. I know I seen the effects.

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