BOOK: Jacqueline Nwokeji-Ani
AUTHOR AND speaker Jacqueline Nwokeji-Ani’s new book Being Single to Be Married – A Guide to Preparing Yourself for a Purpose Driven Marriage aims to teach women how to prepare for a purposeful marriage.
She spoke to Soul Stirrings about her unique approach to finding a life partner.
Soul Stirrings (SS): Finding a partner is a big deal for black Christian women, what new approach does your book bring to the table?
Jacqueline Nwokeji-Ani (JNA): During my search for the reason why at a mature age I was still single, I had to go back to God. He is the Creator of marriage and it was important for me to seek Him. I needed to find out from Him what was delaying my marriage. This meant a total renewing of my own mind. I was ready and willing to change my ways to do things His way.
SS: Why do Christian women find it so difficult to find a life partner?
JNA: Christian women are not meant to find a life partner; her role is to be in the place God wants her to be so that the man can find her. God is not going to give us a husband if we don’t know how to help him. It’s all about the two becoming one to fulfil a greater purpose for His Kingdom.
SS: What should women desirous of finding a husband do to increase their chances?
JNA: Women are not meant to find a life partner; women are meant to fulfil all they have within them, discover their true essence, to learn to submit to God first so that they can be in the place He has called them to be. If women can really wait on God He will bring them to the man who has been looking for them.
SS: You got married in your 30s. Why do you think it took you such a long time to meet your partner?
JNA: I was into my career. At 29, I started thinking, ‘why haven’t any of the guys I dated asked me to marry them?’ When I decided to walk the celibate life, I felt I needed to know who I am, and how I can use what I have to fulfil God’s purpose, before I become a wife.
SS: Was it worth the wait?
JNA: Yes, if I had gotten married earlier. I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate the benefits of marriage and would have so easily opted for divorce if things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go.
SS: Should churches be doing more to help its members find life partners?
JNA: The church is a place where we are taught the principles of God to empower Christians to live a more purposeful life and to enhance their resources for His Kingdom. Obviously marriage is part of this Kingdom living. Unfortunately, there are churches who have not empowered the saints to know their purpose in Christ, and that is sad.
SS: You are very much into the idea of purposeful living - what can single people do to live purposeful lives whilst waiting for their partner to come along?
JNA: Purposeful living is the essence of being fulfilled in life. Single people should immerse themselves into accomplishing all they are created to do, and when it gets to the time where they can’t continue on their own with their assignment, then support (a mate) will appear, if it’s God’s Will.
SS: Why is marriage still a good thing to aspire to?
JNA: Marriage is never a negative thing. When you find the person God has for you in spite of the ups and downs, you have a companion, someone to build with. The Bible tells us that it’s not good for man to be alone. Two people are better off than one because they can help each other to succeed.