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Should marriage be for life regardless of infidelity?

DEBATE: Should marriage mean life?

Two London 360 reporters go head to head:


"YES IT SHOULD!"
FUNMI OLUTOYE

You are a liar if you stood on your wedding day and said the vow ‘for better for worse’, but under your breath you said, ‘with terms and conditions’. The institution of marriage has been inverted, stamped upon, spat at and almost annihilated in this modern age. I’m all for modernity, but to change the absolute point of marriage, which is to stay together, forever, until death do you part is ridiculous.

In marriage, you are obliged to work at your permanent partnership and not throw the towel in after one hurdle. Infidelity is a big hurdle, but it is not a brick wall.

In this consumer-crazy modern age, many people want the wedding, but not the marriage. It’s so much more than the ring and the big white dress. Marriage is a life sentence and people need to accept that. There are no extra terms and conditions. Marriage is not dating - you’re either all in or all out.

So, I call for a radical definition and reform of what marriage is in this country. Britain has the highest divorce rate in the European Union and I believe it is because of our attitude to marriage. It is immovably linked to religion and so I call for those who do not practice any form of religion to not get married. Those people do not even believe, nor are they willing to participate, in the meaning of a ‘marriage’. I call for those people to settle for a civil partnership because the etymological meaning of a ‘partnership’ suggests two people can enter and exit as they please. Very similar to how these ‘modern marriages’ are nowadays. Leave marriage to those who believe in it, are willing to work relentlessly at it until they are happy with it.

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"NO IT SHOULDN'T!"
LATISHA MA

Married or not, infidelity is unforgivable. We can all learn something from the numerous celebrity cheating stories, and it is clear that the Cheryls, Mrs Giggs, and Arnies of this world lack self-respect, and are not respected by their husbands.

Marriage is not unconditional as some may delude themselves to believe, it is something that requires effort, trust, and commitment. Just because you say ‘I do’, wear a wedding ring, and sign a marriage certificate, does not mean that you have to then put up with disgraceful behaviour. You vow to each other to be loyal and commit; both emotionally and morally, and these vows are supposed to be exclusive to your relationship and not involve a third person, otherwise they would have been present at the ceremony to join in!

Walking away from a marriage due to infidelity is not a case of ‘giving up at the first hurdle’, it is more a case of; not cheating at the first opportunity, and then expecting this ‘problem’ to be something that is easily worked through.

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal and the betrayed partner has to surrender their happiness and self-respect in order to forgive, and they ultimately commit to a lifetime of paranoia. Marriage should not be entered into lightly, therefore if you don’t want to be wholly committed to just one person, don’t get married. If ‘marriage is for life; regardless’, how far does this ‘unconditional’ attitude then go? Could you then say that ‘marriage is for life, regardless of domestic violence’?

You may choose to forgive, but you will never forget, and this will have an effect on the remainder of your relationship. It is tainted indefinitely. It is much better to be a Sandra Bullock than a Cheryl Cole. Have some self respect.


*THE 'HEAD TO HEAD''COLUMN IS BY THE LONDON 360 REPORTERS
To find out more about what our reporters are up to go to www.communitychannel.org/london360
-WE ARE LONDON!

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