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Overcome low self-esteem to really change your life

WHAT DO you need improvement on in your life? Is there something in more than one area of your life that’s getting you down?

Perhaps you need to do some of the following to shake-off some negativity in your life...

Become more social

The only way (and this might seem quite harsh) to improve the way you interact socially is to get out there and do it.

Part of overcoming low self-esteem is to start by pushing yourself past your comfort zone. I know, I know – it’s easily said, but not that easy to do.

Start by going out with some of your friends and while you are out, watch how others behave socially.
You will find that when you are smiling and having a laugh it will attract others to interact with you more. It’s a cycle – the more you do it the more people will respond to you and the more fun you will have.

This will start to break down any images or beliefs you hold about yourself that you cannot make friends or maybe that people don’t like you.

Take more responsibility

The world is not your problem – you are your own problem.

Breaking the habit of believing that when things go wrong it is your fault. This is a common way of thinking when self-esteem is low. Stop for a moment and think logically. You don’t influence the whole world around you – you are just a tiny part of a huge universe.

Taking responsibility for yourself and your actions is a step towards you controlling the way you live. Every action has a consequence, so by being more responsible, you will find that you can control the outcomes of situations in your life. Passing blame is common when low responsibility is rife. Just know that this does not bring around good results – if anything, it just makes the situation worse, because you will always be looking for a scapegoat and you will feel that the way you live it is out of your hands and control.

Personal responsibility gives us a sense of ‘we get what we want if we take responsibility for our actions and our efforts’.

Look after your inner child

A low self-esteem could have started way back in your childhood – some parents are busy and forget that children need some positive input to make them positive adults.

Often at school we were picked on, laughed at, pushed around, called ugly names, and treated badly.

No wonder some of us grew up self -conscious and full of resentment. So, when you are working on overcoming low self-esteem, you need to realise that it is not like that now. Yes, that inner child is still inside of us – but now it is our turn to look after it and help it see that what was said a long, long time ago is now not the case.

We seem to have a knack of holding on to old outdated thoughts from our past, thinking it is still of use to us. Who wants to remember that spotty kid at school that plagued us every day? Not me. Letting those thoughts and feelings go will boost your self-esteem.

Write a letter to all those people that made you feel bad back then (as a group, not individual names –
unless you really want to) and say to them how they made you feel then and tell them how now it doesn’t matter to you as they are history. This will start a process of thought alignment, washing away the past and building a new positive future.

Learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes

Taking yourself too seriously will make you unhappy. We all make silly mistakes – I do, and I laugh at myself every day.

A light heart will overcome many an obstacle, believe me. Hard, stressed out, self-critical thinking will not bring around any happiness. So remember, “a laugh a day keeps the doctor away”, and will help keep your low self-esteem at bay.

Stephen P. Robson is a personal development coach and is committed to helping others reach their full potential.

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